It Matters

“I don’t know where to start,” I said finally, looking away from the therapist’s quizzical eyes. “Start at the beginning,” she suggested, her pen already poised on her clipboard, ready to make this, my story that I had so fiercely protected just part of another file. “But I don’t know where that is!” I shouted, angry, frustrated. “Where did it start? When I was born? When I ate my first meal? When I skipped my first meal?” The fluorescent lights buzzed inside my head and I felt my jeans pressing aga

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Flight 206"What do you mean, the plane crashed?"
"It crashed. They said so on the news. A bird flew in the engine or something, God, I don't know, but it went down. And they said some people died. The news won't say how many, they don't know, but people are dead, Jerry." "God damn it." He spoke the words quietly, more to himself than to the voice on the phone. "What? Jerry, I can't hear you. Just, just call me when you find out, okay? Call me when you find him." "Okay. Fine. I will," he spat, bef Flight 206
by ~Chicago-Lights

Sorry"You know I'm sorry." "What?" He turned to face me. "Why are you sorry?" I sighed. "You know why, Will. I'm sorry for hurting you. For everything, really. I can't tell you how awful it was. And it wasn't even your fault." He looked at me. "I told you, Lee. We've been through this. Everytime I talk to you you apologize. I told you. It's okay. I'm over it. You can stop beating yourself up. You had to break up with me. I get it." He brea Sorry
by ~Chicago-Lights

Days Like TodayDays like today are when I miss you the most. Days when the doors stay shut and the blinds stay down and the house stays empty. The only thing I can hear is the hum of the empty fridge and kids screaming outside. I hover somewhere between sleep and apathy as I sit on the couch and paint my nails to pass the hours. I see you everywhere I go, so it’s best to go nowhere, or so I’ve learned. It was hard, right after you left. But I’m learning every day. I have to. I used to dream of life, life filled with parties and friends and food and fam Days Like Today
by ~Chicago-Lights

You Tell MeYou tell me God will save me. Your voice is loud, spiteful, condescending. You glare at me though tear-glazed eyes. I tell you that you’re being overdramatic, that this shouldn’t matter so much. I say I don’t need saving, not now, anyway. Maybe I did before, but not now. I’m doing okay. I tell you.
You tell me that one day, someday, I will need God. This makes me want to laugh, but I control myself, because I know you, better than I know myself. I know that this will only anger you beyond repair and that You Tell Me
by ~Chicago-Lights

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Courage“No, thank you. I don't feel well, I ate before I came.”
I pushed my plate away, staring at my uneaten dinner in disgust. Glancing over to my mother, who was looking at me with worried eyes.
“I ate on the way home.”
Standing up a bit too quickly, my chair squeaked against the hardwood floor on which it stood. I bowed my head and walked hurriedly up the beige-carpeted stairs to my room. Walking inside, shivering slightly at the full-blast of my AC, I smiled. They say cold makes the metabolism work faster. Bending over, I pulled small electronic scale from under my bed and stepped on it Courage
by ~Darkinuhanyou

Got Purpose?When you left, you took the life out of this house. You took all the plates your mother gave us at our wedding, the flashlight with a hand-crank that was so useful during power outages, and the books on psychology that weighted down our shelves. After you left, I started eating off napkins at diner, and paper plates I found in the back of the cabinet; left overs from some party, I guess. The power went out, and the batteries in my flashlight were empty. You took all the candles, too. The holes between books now look like the picture of you that once hung above the piano: the one of you as a kid, before you got your braces. The little bl Got Purpose?
by ~MyMidnightLove

Haiku: Loveif I happen to fall in love again it will be by accident Haiku: Love
by =EHB

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~AnticipatingSuicide

*Neomarxleninist

leave before you are left

Sat Nov 7, 2009, 8:04 PM

life has been rough.

happiness is a choice. it's not just going to happen. i have to put in some effort too.
and i have to stop being so goddamn picky.

[link]

^in case you have nothing better to do than listen to me whine/rant. cause i do that a lot.

in other news -
i'm addicted to facebook.
my skin is being wacky.
i've been getting mad headaches.
all i write lately is for my writing class.
i should be doing nanowrimo but i'm not.
i'm addicted to the song camera shy by school boy humor. no lie.

movies
i tried to watch legally blonde two today. well that didn't work out.
freaky friday gets on my nerves, lindsay lohan plays such an extreme stereotype, it makes me want to throw up.

music
new say anything/every avenue/the almost/afi/mayday parade.
i am way too excited.
i've rediscovered the song 'cheap and cheerful' by the kills. it was a free single a while back and it's absolutely awesome.
also i kind of like owl city, but so does everyone and that just makes me feel like a whore.
anyone heard russian roulette by rihanna? it's really not bad.

tv
well house hasn't been on for two weeks bc of that world series[like i give a fuck about the yankees or the phillies], either that or i've just missed it for two weeks.
who cares, this seasons sucks.
been watching a lot of desperate housewives. mostly so i can fall asleep in the afternoons.
yeah idk.

my mood swings are beginning to worry me.

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